A Couple Comments on Some Great Papers!

On Rachel's paper:

I think you do a good job of introducing your ideas. I did lose a little bit what you were arguing in the middle but overall, I felt you argued your thesis well and your idea is well developed. I particularly felt that your section on dismissing the supernatural was a strong argument and it was there that I was most noticeably convinced by your argument. I was a little lost on the applicability of Leontes and the oracle and after going back to your thesis, I was able to derive a connection. Your evidence is strong and your argument convincing. Perhaps more blatantly linking your ideas and evidences back to your thesis will help distracted readers like me keep their focus and remember the significance of each piece and how it applies to your argument.  Your secondary sources are well applied and you use strong evidence from the text and often enough that I know exactly what play you are talking about and become more familiar with it in relation to your argument as the essay continues.  Overall, great job!

On Steve's paper:

I read through your essay and I think you, like Rachel, do a very good job of introducing your arguments.  You use strong evidence and I was able to follow your train of thought throughout the paper.  Your ideas are very well thought out and you do a good job of articulating your thoughts.  You might want to include a bit more background into the story of the play, depending on your audience, just as a foundation for the characterization you do of Coriolanus and his mother-in-law.  At this point it also might help you to include secondary sources both on the play itself and on the nature vs. nurture aspect of your argument just to strengthen your point of view.

Well, those are just some things I noticed.  If you are still looking for guidance on your papers, here is Strong Bad with a few more pointers on writing a great Englilsh paper!