Two
Mites
An Imitation of Mark 12:41-44
A
widow once in ancient Israel
Went
forth with all she had to pay her tithe.
Though
poor she was, she pleased the Master well,
Unlike
the rich fit for the devil’s scythe,
Whose
wealth they gave displayed for all to see.
Jerusalem’s
great men who never missed
A
single coin they gave away so free,
Would
never have the faith to be so blessed
As
was this humble daughter of God’s Son
Who
gave two coins with love sincere
For
God, for Him, her Lord, the Holy One
Whose
faultless life would pay our ransom dear.
Today
we hold ourselves two mites and more
To
make us rich in wealth or in heart poor.
As you can probably tell, I really struggled to keep with both the rhyme and the rhythm while still trying to say what I wanted to say.
I think you captured the essence of the scripture really well. A few phrases tripped me up, but that might be because some words competed with others for stress. Like, "God's Son" could be "the Son" without losing a lot of meaning and it sets up the stress for "Son." I really love those lines around that image, by the way. "Whose faultless life would pay our ransom dear" is beautifully done.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the suggestion! I noticed that myself but wasn't sure how to fix it.
DeleteI love that you chose a scripture, and it is very beautiful. I just love how at the end you say how we are in the couplet to make us reflect personally, that is a very good couplet.
ReplyDeleteI love this poem and how well it adapts the widow's story into a sonnet! I feel like the build up towards the end couplet is really well done. There are a couple of awkward lines like "or in heart poor" but nothing that a slight rewording can't fix. I love how you were able to work Jerusalem so well into the meter!
ReplyDelete