September’s trees are slightly different,
Their stems still shoot out leaves and lift
The green from grass into the firmament.
Summer is planted but is taught to shift
A gentle brown into each far leaf-end
To hedge the trees against the next autumn
And slowly roll dead covers to each stem,
Planning for when the trees are bare columns.
I am the same as a September tree
And soon must stand against the winter weight,
Without the safety of my canopy,
Planning its stored reserve will hold me straight.
But nature's taught to trees, calmly submit
To change and I do not, and envy it.
Pulling off "canopy" is really impressive, John! I'm a little scared of those 3-syllable words. I think you follow the tradition of the nature poem well.
ReplyDeleteI really like your idea of comparing yourself to a tree yet how in the end you clearly make the distinction of the difference which is the lack of changing. That was a great direction to take it!
ReplyDeleteAwesome imagery! I really liked how you used specifically September trees to explain the idea of change, and showed change as just a part of nature. "Calmly submit" in the second to last line felt kind of forced but otherwise I thought you did an excellent job of using the structure of the sonnet.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I think you win the class award for most complex rhymes! Firmament? Columns? I'm sitting here trying to squeak by with "day." I loved the ending lines, too! It gave some weight to your sonnet.
ReplyDeleteWell. Just on the basis of words this is fantastic. But even more so, the fact that it's about something like a tree, but you bring into it a depth that would have been missing if you had not talked so poignantly about yourself and your own feelings at the end
ReplyDeleteWow. Great job!!
ReplyDelete