Where,
then, has it gone?
A dead leaf falls, till, landing lives
again
Upon the back of flowing water warm
Till, oppressed,
it soon begins to sink
Pushed, pulled, and lost under white
water’s storm
And there, below the surface, driven on
Pinned ’neath water’s weight and
mud-anchored rock
It watches time take place, the river
long
Erode, leaving ridges to mark time’s
clock
Now worn and tired, pressed on to reach
the dawn
To meet the horizon, to greet the sky
And kiss the sun then, current-pulled,
move on
Leaving only a softly whispering sigh
But past the horizon, what lies there, or
flows?
And where, then, has it gone? Nobody
knows.
Your first stanza made me sit up in my chair. Seriously, that thing flows! (No pun intended.) The only stretch that tripped me up a bit was the second stanza. There are a lot of strong words competing for attention, so I had to read it a few times to nail the rhythm down. So good.
ReplyDeleteHow did you come up with to write about? I really love the idea of time that you pull into such a simple, natural thing. Your rhythm was great, I got so caught up in how nice it sounded that I had to read it again to focus more on the words. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHow did you come up with to write about? I really love the idea of time that you pull into such a simple, natural thing. Your rhythm was great, I got so caught up in how nice it sounded that I had to read it again to focus more on the words. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautiful! And somehow none of these lines feel forced despite the more abstract subject matter. I think you have a great sense of how a line can be strict in rhythm and still sound natural
ReplyDelete